ADAM SANDLER'S production company is trying to turn a YouTube video into a feature film. The video shows pixilated characters from old video games attacking New York City and taking over the world... enjoy...
Friday, May 14, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Some "Carnac" Jokes for you this morning...
The Answer: A recovery and awful music.
The Question: Name two things Bret Michaels is going to make.
The Answer: Jay Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and whoever tried to set off that explosion in Times Square.
The Question: Name someone who bombed over the weekend, and someone who didn't.
The Answer: The Times Square bomb and Steven Seagal.
The Question: Name two things described as "crude."
The Answer: A West Virginia mine and Paris Hilton.
The Question: Name two things that are risky to be in without proper protection.
The Answer: 15 pounds and his trousers.
The Question: Name two things Bill Clinton will drop before Chelsea's wedding.
The Answer: ICU.
The Question: Where do Eskimos go to college?
The Question: Name two things Bret Michaels is going to make.
The Answer: Jay Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner and whoever tried to set off that explosion in Times Square.
The Question: Name someone who bombed over the weekend, and someone who didn't.
The Answer: The Times Square bomb and Steven Seagal.
The Question: Name two things described as "crude."
The Answer: A West Virginia mine and Paris Hilton.
The Question: Name two things that are risky to be in without proper protection.
The Answer: 15 pounds and his trousers.
The Question: Name two things Bill Clinton will drop before Chelsea's wedding.
The Answer: ICU.
The Question: Where do Eskimos go to college?
Friday, April 23, 2010
THIS is why Terrorism happens... because it WORKS!
The reason that terrorists "terrorize" is to create fear in the societies of their victims (hence the "terror" part!!) When we give in to that fear and change the way we do things, the terrorists have accomplished their goal. Case in point...
If you caught Wednesday's episode of "South Park", you probably noticed all the bleeps that were installed to censor the word "Muhammad." Comedy Central made the decision just prior to airing the episode, after receiving a "warning" from a radical Muslim group based in Brooklyn. The group had posted a message on
their website saying, quote, "what [creators TREY PARKER and MATT STONE] are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show." (Van Gogh was a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered six years ago for questioning Islam's views of women.)
It continued, quote, "This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them." Parker and Stone were not cool with the censorship . . . and probably don't care if they offend anyone, since they've never had a problem offending ANYONE of any political, racial or religious denomination.In a message posted on their SouthParkStudios site, Parker and Stone sound annoyed with Comedy Central's decision.
It reads, quote, "In the 14 years we've been doing 'South Park' we have never done a show that we couldn't stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn't some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle's customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn't mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We'll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we'll see what happens to it."
In a separate statement, they added, quote, "We do not have network approval to stream our original version of the show. We will bring you a version of [the episode] as soon as we can."
A Comedy Central spokesperson confirmed that it was the network's decision to censor the episode . . . but beyond that, there's been no further comment.
If you caught Wednesday's episode of "South Park", you probably noticed all the bleeps that were installed to censor the word "Muhammad." Comedy Central made the decision just prior to airing the episode, after receiving a "warning" from a radical Muslim group based in Brooklyn. The group had posted a message on
their website saying, quote, "what [creators TREY PARKER and MATT STONE] are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show." (Van Gogh was a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered six years ago for questioning Islam's views of women.)It continued, quote, "This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them." Parker and Stone were not cool with the censorship . . . and probably don't care if they offend anyone, since they've never had a problem offending ANYONE of any political, racial or religious denomination.In a message posted on their SouthParkStudios site, Parker and Stone sound annoyed with Comedy Central's decision.
It reads, quote, "In the 14 years we've been doing 'South Park' we have never done a show that we couldn't stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn't some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle's customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn't mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We'll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we'll see what happens to it."
In a separate statement, they added, quote, "We do not have network approval to stream our original version of the show. We will bring you a version of [the episode] as soon as we can."
A Comedy Central spokesperson confirmed that it was the network's decision to censor the episode . . . but beyond that, there's been no further comment.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
THIS is what happened to the art of conversation...
According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, TEXT MESSAGING has officially taken over as the most popular form of communication for teens... more popular than phone calls, instant messaging, and even talking face-to-face.
Overall, teen girls between the ages of 12 and 17 send an average of 80 texts a day, while boys send an average of 30 texts a day. And ONE in THREE teens sends more than 100 texts a day on average. In fact, texting has become such a part of their lives that 87% of teens even sleep with their phone.
By the way... in case you forgot or you just don't care, researchers at Virginia Tech University found last year that drivers who text while driving are 23 times more likely to crash than those who aren't distracted. And another study from "Car and Driver" magazine found that when drivers text at the wheel, their reaction times are slowed by 35%. But, when drivers are high, their reaction times are slowed by "just" 21%. And when they're at the legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.08, their reaction times are slowed by 12%.
In other words, driving while texting is actually more dangerous than driving while baked, and it's nearly three times more dangerous than driving with a little alcohol buzz.
Overall, teen girls between the ages of 12 and 17 send an average of 80 texts a day, while boys send an average of 30 texts a day. And ONE in THREE teens sends more than 100 texts a day on average. In fact, texting has become such a part of their lives that 87% of teens even sleep with their phone.
By the way... in case you forgot or you just don't care, researchers at Virginia Tech University found last year that drivers who text while driving are 23 times more likely to crash than those who aren't distracted. And another study from "Car and Driver" magazine found that when drivers text at the wheel, their reaction times are slowed by 35%. But, when drivers are high, their reaction times are slowed by "just" 21%. And when they're at the legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.08, their reaction times are slowed by 12%.
In other words, driving while texting is actually more dangerous than driving while baked, and it's nearly three times more dangerous than driving with a little alcohol buzz.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Deep down, you just KNEW this was the case, didn't you?
We always kinda knew those quiet smart chicks were secretly FREAKY, but HERE'S the PROOF!!! In 1992, a guy named Will Manley conducted a tongue-in-cheek survey about 
LIBRARIANS and SEX for a trade magazine called the "Wilson Library Bulletin". He randomly posted the survey on his blog two Sundays ago, and it's been popping up all over the Internet ever since. Here's what it found... (and remember, this was 1992... nearly 20 years ago...)
--51% of librarians say they'd have posed nude for money.
--61% admitted they'd rented an X-rated movie.
--63% had sex in a car.
--91% had read "The Joy of Sex".
--And overall, ONE in FIVE librarians admitted they'd done the nasty between the stacks...
....there's a "book worm" joke there somewhere...
LIBRARIANS and SEX for a trade magazine called the "Wilson Library Bulletin". He randomly posted the survey on his blog two Sundays ago, and it's been popping up all over the Internet ever since. Here's what it found... (and remember, this was 1992... nearly 20 years ago...)--51% of librarians say they'd have posed nude for money.
--61% admitted they'd rented an X-rated movie.
--63% had sex in a car.
--91% had read "The Joy of Sex".
--And overall, ONE in FIVE librarians admitted they'd done the nasty between the stacks...
....there's a "book worm" joke there somewhere...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
How to become an "Expert"...
In this media-rich society we live in, it's easy enough to set yourself up as an expert on just about anything... all you have to do is say you are, give an opinion on the subject, and maybe write a book.... case in point....
Elizabeth Semmelhack is the author of a book called "Heights of Fashion: A History of the Elevated Shoe", and, accordingly, is something of an "expert" in "fashionomics". In her book, she points out that during economic recessions, women tend to wear HIGHER HEELS.
According to Elizabeth, it happened during the Great Depression, during the oil crisis of the 1970s and after the dot-com bubble burst in 2000. And she says the same thing is happening right now. Or as Elizabeth puts it, quote, "We have entered a moment of heightened impracticality in footwear."
So you know, it's not entirely clear why recessions seem to cause women to wear higher heels. But Elizabeth thinks it's due to, quote, "a greater need for escapism."
So, to recap... to become an "expert", just go ahead and make s**t up... if it sounds like it has ANY logical merit whatsoever (or not), you're good to go...
Elizabeth Semmelhack is the author of a book called "Heights of Fashion: A History of the Elevated Shoe", and, accordingly, is something of an "expert" in "fashionomics". In her book, she points out that during economic recessions, women tend to wear HIGHER HEELS.
According to Elizabeth, it happened during the Great Depression, during the oil crisis of the 1970s and after the dot-com bubble burst in 2000. And she says the same thing is happening right now. Or as Elizabeth puts it, quote, "We have entered a moment of heightened impracticality in footwear."
So you know, it's not entirely clear why recessions seem to cause women to wear higher heels. But Elizabeth thinks it's due to, quote, "a greater need for escapism."
So, to recap... to become an "expert", just go ahead and make s**t up... if it sounds like it has ANY logical merit whatsoever (or not), you're good to go...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Fun with Foreign Crime...
I have TWO interesting crime stories for you this morning...
STORY #1...
The data for this first story comes from Australia, and I have no idea if the results would be similar here. But it'd be interesting to find out.
According to the New South Wales Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, there's nearly SIX TIMES more crime in churches and other "places of worship" there than in their strip clubs, brothels, and casinos.
In 2008, 1,600 people were charged with committing 27 different types of crimes . . . including assault, sexual assault, robbery, and drug possession . . . in Australia's places of worship. Meanwhile, in strip clubs and other adult entertainment venues, just 282 people were charged with crimes.
According to a government spokesman, "Most people would think of churches and synagogues as sanctuaries in society. But maybe that's naive, because the statistics show they are likely to rob, assault or steal from people there like anywhere else. The figures are genuinely surprising."
STORY #2...
We all know 'The Man' is evil. But even so, the next time you find yourself complaining about the government, I want you to stop and think about this: In China, you can get up to five years in prison for having GROUP SEX.
I'm not making this up. Group sex was officially banned in 1997, and it's defined as consensual sex between three or more adults. That means it even includes threesomes. I bring it up because last August, police in southern China busted a swingers club in the middle of an orgy. 22 people were arrested, and now they're all looking at serious prison time. A 53-year-old guy named Ma started the club. And he admits the people there met regularly to exchange bodily fluids. But now... curiously... he sees the error of his ways.
Ma NOW says, "I can be educated and change my ways, but those who refuse to fix their behavior despite repeated admonition should be severely punished." The case goes to trial tomorrow.
STORY #1...
The data for this first story comes from Australia, and I have no idea if the results would be similar here. But it'd be interesting to find out.
According to the New South Wales Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, there's nearly SIX TIMES more crime in churches and other "places of worship" there than in their strip clubs, brothels, and casinos.
In 2008, 1,600 people were charged with committing 27 different types of crimes . . . including assault, sexual assault, robbery, and drug possession . . . in Australia's places of worship. Meanwhile, in strip clubs and other adult entertainment venues, just 282 people were charged with crimes.
According to a government spokesman, "Most people would think of churches and synagogues as sanctuaries in society. But maybe that's naive, because the statistics show they are likely to rob, assault or steal from people there like anywhere else. The figures are genuinely surprising."
STORY #2...
We all know 'The Man' is evil. But even so, the next time you find yourself complaining about the government, I want you to stop and think about this: In China, you can get up to five years in prison for having GROUP SEX.
I'm not making this up. Group sex was officially banned in 1997, and it's defined as consensual sex between three or more adults. That means it even includes threesomes. I bring it up because last August, police in southern China busted a swingers club in the middle of an orgy. 22 people were arrested, and now they're all looking at serious prison time. A 53-year-old guy named Ma started the club. And he admits the people there met regularly to exchange bodily fluids. But now... curiously... he sees the error of his ways.
Ma NOW says, "I can be educated and change my ways, but those who refuse to fix their behavior despite repeated admonition should be severely punished." The case goes to trial tomorrow.
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