Everyone these days talks about their "RIGHTS", but nobody ever seems willing to discuss the RESPONSIBILITIES that go along with those rights. Our whole system of justice is not just based on RIGHTS, but on RESPONSIBILITIES as well... if you don't live up to your RESPONSIBILITIES, we take away your RIGHTS. Perhaps the most disturbing incarnation of this trend is judges allowing people to blame others for their own actions... people suing McDonald's for being fat, for instance! Here's an example I found today...
In 2007, a STRIPPER named Patsy Hamaker was working at The Furnace strip club in Birmingham, Alabama.
One night, Patsy got completely hammered while at work. Her blood-alcohol content was nearly three times the legal limit, and she was so out-of-control that she had to be physically removed from the club's VIP room after causing a scene.
Anyway, Patsy attempted to drive off at least three times, but the club's security guards were able to stop her each time. But on her fourth attempt, Patsy was successful. At which point she proceeded to CRASH her car on the highway, breaking her nose and back.
Then after recovering from her injuries, Patsy decided to bring a $1.2 MILLION lawsuit against The Furnace because they didn't stop her from driving drunk . . . at least not enough times.
And on Tuesday, a jury awarded Patsy $100,000 to cover the cost of her medical bills.
To recap, PATSY got wasted... AT WORK... her employers tried to stop her from driving three times... PATSY finally snuck away and drove under the influence... PATSY crashed her car... and yet the STRIP CLUB is apparently responsible for it all... (?!?!?!)
That's it... I'm suing my parents for passing along a gene pool that prevented me from fulfilling my dream to be a male underwear model...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Never Piss Off Fido...
On Saturday, an unidentified 53-year-old man was duck hunting with his Labrador Retriever outside of Los Banos, California.
At the end of the day, the guy set his shotgun on the ground while he went to pick up a few decoy ducks about 45 feet away. He figured it would be okay since the gun's safety was on.
But while he was collecting the decoys, the guy's dog stepped on the gun and somehow managed to disengage the safety, while hitting the trigger at the same time.
Long story short, the upper left side of the guy's back was sprayed with buckshot. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was treated and released.
...the dog's name...?... Dick Cheney.
At the end of the day, the guy set his shotgun on the ground while he went to pick up a few decoy ducks about 45 feet away. He figured it would be okay since the gun's safety was on.
But while he was collecting the decoys, the guy's dog stepped on the gun and somehow managed to disengage the safety, while hitting the trigger at the same time.
Long story short, the upper left side of the guy's back was sprayed with buckshot. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was treated and released.
...the dog's name...?... Dick Cheney.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Have you bought your ticket yet?
The extremely rich lead lives so far removed from most of ours that it's impossible to comprehend. It IS fun, though, to think what you'd do if money was no longer an object for you. Where would you go? What would you buy? I think there's one super-rich guy who has it right.
Sir Richard Branson (the "Virgin" dude) is by far, the coolest billionaire in the world. He's got crazy-deep pockets. He owns, among other things, a record label, an airline, a cell phone company, a chain of radio stations and his own Caribbean island
(pictured left). He's done some crazy adventure stuff... he's even built a civilian space ship so that rich people with too much money can travel to space.
Well, later this month, Branson will unveil his latest creation... the Necker Nymph... which is a plane that "flies" UNDERWATER.
According to officials, the prototype for the Necker Nymph
(pictured right) cost more than $660,000 to build. It can carry a pilot and two passengers, and can dive up to 130 feet underwater.
At first, the Necker Nymph will be used to shuttle visitors back and forth from Branson's private island. And it will also be up for rent for $25,000 a week... but only if you agree to rent a luxury catamaran at an additional $88,000 a week.
In the meantime, I continue to try to scrape together enough extra money for a case of beer for this weekend.... and so far, it's not looking promising...
Sir Richard Branson (the "Virgin" dude) is by far, the coolest billionaire in the world. He's got crazy-deep pockets. He owns, among other things, a record label, an airline, a cell phone company, a chain of radio stations and his own Caribbean island
(pictured left). He's done some crazy adventure stuff... he's even built a civilian space ship so that rich people with too much money can travel to space.Well, later this month, Branson will unveil his latest creation... the Necker Nymph... which is a plane that "flies" UNDERWATER.
According to officials, the prototype for the Necker Nymph
(pictured right) cost more than $660,000 to build. It can carry a pilot and two passengers, and can dive up to 130 feet underwater.At first, the Necker Nymph will be used to shuttle visitors back and forth from Branson's private island. And it will also be up for rent for $25,000 a week... but only if you agree to rent a luxury catamaran at an additional $88,000 a week.
In the meantime, I continue to try to scrape together enough extra money for a case of beer for this weekend.... and so far, it's not looking promising...
Monday, February 1, 2010
People in B-C are ALSO from a different planet...
There are only a few things that never cease to amaze me... one is the ridiculous studies that people actually get research grants to perform, and the ludicrous conclusions they reach from the results...
...case in point...
Recently, a group of animal psychologists from the University of Victoria wanted to find out how dogs use their tails to communicate with one another.
So they set up a ROBOTIC DOG in a public park and had it wag its tail in several different ways . . . to the left, to the right, and directly in the center. Then they observed as real dogs approached the robot to see if they were hesitant or seemed cautious.
What they found is that overall, 56% of the dogs approached the robot without hesitation when it was wagging its tail to the LEFT.
But when the robot was wagging its tail to the RIGHT, just 21% of the dogs approached it without hesitation.
According to the researchers (apparently under the supervision of their professor, Dr. Who), the study proves that when dogs are at their happiest, they'll wag their tail to the left.
...three questions...
A) Who Cares?...
B) How much of my tax money went toward building the robotic dog?... and, of course,
C) Where do I apply for a job as a researcher?...
-Stack
...case in point...
Recently, a group of animal psychologists from the University of Victoria wanted to find out how dogs use their tails to communicate with one another.
So they set up a ROBOTIC DOG in a public park and had it wag its tail in several different ways . . . to the left, to the right, and directly in the center. Then they observed as real dogs approached the robot to see if they were hesitant or seemed cautious.
What they found is that overall, 56% of the dogs approached the robot without hesitation when it was wagging its tail to the LEFT.But when the robot was wagging its tail to the RIGHT, just 21% of the dogs approached it without hesitation.
According to the researchers (apparently under the supervision of their professor, Dr. Who), the study proves that when dogs are at their happiest, they'll wag their tail to the left.
...three questions...
A) Who Cares?...
B) How much of my tax money went toward building the robotic dog?... and, of course,
C) Where do I apply for a job as a researcher?...
-Stack
Celebrities are clearly from a different planet...
Earlier this month, Actor Noah "I'm-not-a-doctor-but-I-play-one-on-T-V" Wyle and his wife Tracy announced they were splitting up. Now we know why. According to the always-reliable "National Enquirer" anyway.
They say Noah had been having a year-long affair with an actress named Tanna Frederick. But then, late last year, he started running around behind his mistress' back with ANOTHER chick.
It's not clear at this point if Noah is still with either (or both) of his two mistresses anymore... but I'm betting that Tiger Woods is setting up a cot for him in sex rehab.
Moving On...
Normally when families lose a cherished pet, it can be quite some time before they're ready to move on and bring in a new member of the family. There are a few reasons for this. Most people feel that, like a widower who begins dating the day after the funeral, it's disrespectful to their recently deceased animal to "replace" it so soon. Many simply need a period of time to grieve and adjust to life without the dearly departed before they can consider ANOTHER big change in bringing in and adjusting to a new addition.
...unfortunately, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances...
As you may know, we lost a
dear friend last week (see below). But as close as the HUMAN members of the clan may have been to Bella, she and her fellow equine Stackhouse, Clyde, were inseparable (Bella & Clyde, pictured left as their superhero alter-ego's, SuperBella & Clyderman!) The big guy has been understandably a little lost for the last several days. So, for Clyde's sake, despite the fact that the REST of the family may have ideally wanted a little extra time, and thanks to the same source that gave us Bella, we will soon have a new addition to the family.
Dusty(right) is a 5 year old standardbred. He retired early from a career at EPR (quite possibly due to an apparent case of acute laziness... a quality far more appreciated in a pleasure horse than in a racer!) Dusty has had folks sit on him bareback, but isn't broke to saddle yet, which puts him at ROUGHLY the same spot Clyde was at when we got him at 5 years old.
As I stated before, Bella could never be replaced, and will ALWAYS be missed, but the arrival of Dusty will start a new chapter for us all, if perhaps a little sooner than we expected.
-Stack
...unfortunately, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances...
As you may know, we lost a
dear friend last week (see below). But as close as the HUMAN members of the clan may have been to Bella, she and her fellow equine Stackhouse, Clyde, were inseparable (Bella & Clyde, pictured left as their superhero alter-ego's, SuperBella & Clyderman!) The big guy has been understandably a little lost for the last several days. So, for Clyde's sake, despite the fact that the REST of the family may have ideally wanted a little extra time, and thanks to the same source that gave us Bella, we will soon have a new addition to the family.
Dusty(right) is a 5 year old standardbred. He retired early from a career at EPR (quite possibly due to an apparent case of acute laziness... a quality far more appreciated in a pleasure horse than in a racer!) Dusty has had folks sit on him bareback, but isn't broke to saddle yet, which puts him at ROUGHLY the same spot Clyde was at when we got him at 5 years old.
As I stated before, Bella could never be replaced, and will ALWAYS be missed, but the arrival of Dusty will start a new chapter for us all, if perhaps a little sooner than we expected.
-Stack
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