Bring me the Head of Colonel Harlan Sanders...

Last month, someone stole a bronze bust of COLONEL SANDERS from the lobby of a KFC restaurant in Berea, Kentucky.

The bust is worth about $1,200. And now, KFC is offering a $500 reward for information leading to its return.

Or rather, they're offering $500 worth of CHICKEN for information leading to its return.

According to a company spokesman, KFC was going to offer a cash reward. But, quote, "we think KFC's world-famous chicken is a better motivator than money."

...because if there's one thing everyone needs in tough economic times like these, it's FRIED CHICKEN.

Porn Addiction...

Why is it that if you somehow have been able to get the term "Doctor" placed in front of your name, you can say just about anything and at least SOME people will take it as gospel? I ran across a "study" that kinda proves that point...

According to this study from the University of Sydney in Australia, addiction to online pornography isn't a "major problem" unless you spend 16 hours a day surfing for smut.

A woman named Dr. Gomathi Sitharthan led the study. She says, "Viewing pornography online becomes a major problem only when people become so preoccupied that they spend 16 to 18 hours a day doing nothing else but watching pornography, with serious impacts on relationships, work, studies, and finances."

In other words, according to this so-called "expert", you could watch pornography from 8:00 A.M. until 11:00 P.M. every day, and according to Dr. Sitharthan, this still wouldn't be considered a "major problem".

Let me just put MY two cents in... According to Dr. Stack, if you spend 15 hours a day looking at online porno, you may not have a "major problem" with pornography addiction, but you're still a "major loser".

I think you needed to hear that.

Only in the U-S...

I know kids sometimes do things that aren't too bright, but THIS is RIDICULOUS...

21-year-olds Charles Gill and Ryan Knight (pictured left) are students at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. On Saturday, they decided to take advantage of last weekend's blizzard by throwing shovels full of snow onto the windshield of a city snowplow. So the driver called the cops. But when the cops showed up in an unmarked police car, Charles and Ryan started throwing snow on THEIR car too. And when the officers opened their doors to get out, these two geniuses threw snow INTO the cop car.

Long story short, Charles and Ryan were both arrested and charged with, quote, "throwing missiles at occupied vehicles" which is a felony. If they're convicted, they could get up to $2,500 in fines and FIVE YEARS in prison.

...as long as they steer clear of my daughters...

Carnac Jokes...

For those of you who remember back when the Tonight Show was actually FUNNY, you may appreciate these. Johnny Carson used to do his "Carnac The Magnificent" skit, where he would predict the answers of questions which were sealed in an envelope. Here are some Carnac-Style lines that Johnny might use if he were still around... I call them "Jokes Dyslexic"...

The Answer: "The Book of Eli".
The Question: Name a Denzel Washington movie AND where Peyton Manning's interception play came from?

The Answer: Big Easy.
The Question: Name two words that describe Khloe Kardashian.

The Answer: French Quarter.
The Question: What do you call a quarter that surrenders prematurely?

The Answer: ManCrunch.
The Question: Name a gay-dating website AND what Oprah hears when she's on top of Stedman.

The Answer: "The Wolfman".
The Question: Name a new Benicio Del Toro movie AND what Simon Le Bon answers when you ask him what he's hungry like.

If you've never seen any Carnac stuff, check THIS one out... it's a classic...

Yes, I DO have a juvenile sense of humour...

...and I admit.... Yes, I DID laugh out loud...

A Warning to Philandering Car Lovers...

If you cheat, you deserve what you get... and if you like your car, you may not like what she does for revenge... have a look at some of THESE... (personally, I think you'd be LUCKY if this was all you got!)

Take the $100,000,000-a-year and run....

It looks like Howard Stern, in another desperate attempt to become relevant again, may be making up rumours about himself.

On his radio show yesterday, Stern confirmed supposed reports that Fox is interested in having him replace Simon on "American Idol", and he said he'd be up for it... for the right price.

He said, quote, "There's not a better job on the planet than judging a (expletive deleted) karaoke contest. It might be possible, we'll see. They'd have to pay me a ton of dough, because I already make a ton of dough."

Stern's current deal... which pays him roughly $100 million a year... is set to expire next January. It's unclear whether Sirius XM is interested in extending it.


Supposedly, "Idol" might be willing to match that deal... and naturally, Howard would do it if that were the case. He said, quote, "A hundred-million to judge a karaoke contest? Yeah, I think I would do that show for $100 million.

"It would be the best thing that happened to me. What a cush job: $100 million for four months. Who wouldn't take that?"

But he added, quote, "I'm not going to comment about any discussions I might or might not have had."

"American Idol" producers (not surprisingly) wouldn't comment on this, so I'm willing to bet Howard either is making all this up to get headlines, or is at least jumping on an unsubstantiated rumour and trying to get an extra 15 mintues of fame out of it.