But Honey, It Was The Magnets... HONEST...

In this month's issue of a journal called "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences", researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology claim to have discovered the brain's "moral compass." It's in an area called the right temporoparietal junction . . . just beneath the surface of the brain, behind the right ear . . . and it controls how we judge other people's behavior. But that's not all . . .

According to the researchers, a person's morality center can be manipulated with powerful magnets, disrupting their normal brain activity and making them temporarily LESS MORAL.

For example, in one study, test subjects were asked how they'd feel if a man allowed his girlfriend to cross a bridge he knew was unsafe. Normally, subjects rated the man's behavior as unacceptable. But after getting the magnetic pulse, they saw nothing wrong with the guy's behavior because the woman didn't get hurt. That was basically the study's main finding: After being subjected to the magnetic pulse, NOTHING was rated as morally unacceptable, as long as things ended well.

A woman named Dr. Liane Young led the study. She says, quote, "You think of morality as being a really high-level behavior. To be able to apply a magnetic field to a specific brain region and change people's moral judgments is really astonishing." In other words, no matter how good a person you think you are, your brain can be manipulated with just a few stupid magnets to make you a total jerk.

...so, honey... next time I act like an ASS, I'm blaming all those magnets you put on the fridge...

Would YOU go this far... SHOULD YOU?

It's time to play "Hero or Anti-Hero".... the subject?... an unidentified 14-year-old boy from Winnipeg. Here's the story...

Early Saturday morning, the boy got into an argument with his unidentified 31-year-old mother. Apparently she'd been up all night getting hammered, which was fine... until she grabbed the car keys and tried to DRIVE DRUNK. The boy didn't want his mom to get behind the wheel, so as she was running out the door with her car keys, he grabbed a KNIFE, threw it at her, and hit her in the back.

The woman was rushed to the hospital, where she's in stable condition. And the boy was arrested and charged with aggravated assault. He's being held at a youth detention facility. According to a police spokesman, quote, "He took the car keys from her and the dispute started . . . She had been drinking and she wanted to drive, and he didn't want to let her. It started out he tried to protect her, but in the end injured her."

Okay, He DID go a little over the line, but this kid just MAY just have saved his IDIOT mother from KILLING herself, or, worse yet, killing some innocent person. Would the authorities have preferred he allow her to hit the road in the state she was in?!... Or did he go TOO far?... should he have let her go and called the cops to let THEM deal with it?

Discuss...

WANTED: Nerds with Money...

Dating coaches are nothing new. They're the guys who claim to be experts on relationships and women, and make a living coaching loser dudes in the art of picking up chicks. It was the subject of the Will Smith chick-flick "Hitch", and there even used to be a show about a dating doctor on VH1 called "The Pickup Artist".

Well, Dr. Paul Dobransky is a psychologist and self-proclaimed relationship expert from New York City. He runs a series of weekend retreats for men called the "Omega Male Boot Camp." The idea is to help guys WRANGLE CHICKS by, quote, "transforming their masculinity" and helping them "Become more POWERFUL and ATTRACTIVE"... whatever that means. Dr. Paul's seminars focus on every aspect of a relationship... from the pick-up to the possibility of marriage. And they even include a night out at the bars with Dr. Paul himself. Check out the website HERE..

And all it will cost you to take one of Dr. Paul's weekend "Omega Male Boot Camp" seminars is... $1,800.00... U-S...

I'm thinking that if, deep down in your heart, you REALLY feel that you, personally, could use this service, maybe you can trade in a few video games or sell one of your seven computers to help pay for it...

NEW SLASH TRACK, with Duff & Dave Grohl!!

Slash will be releasing his upcoming solo album, Slash, on April 6th. The instrumental track called 'Watch This' features Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) and bandmate Duff McKagan (Velvet Revolver, ex-Guns N' Roses) is available for free download HERE!! --->

LAST WARNING... if you fear flying, DO NOT READ THIS!

I've always taken it for granted that when I fly, the PILOT wants the same thing I do: A nice, safe flight that's totally free of death and destruction. But I won't anymore. Not after hearing THIS . . .

Bryan Griffin (...no... not the DOG-From-Family-Guy "Bryan Griffin") is a former pilot for Qantas Airlines. Recently, he won $145,000 in a lawsuit against the airline. It had to do with a certain compulsion Bryan felt when he was flying. See, Bryan's been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. And for about three years, every time Bryan would fly, he'd start to feel the overwhelming urge to CRASH THE PLANE. Bryan says that things sometimes got so bad, he'd have to leave the cockpit until he calmed down. And on one flight, he had to immobilize his arm because his hand, quote, "involuntarily moved towards the start levers" to kill the plane's engines in mid-air.

According to Bryan, Qantas knew about his compulsion all along. Yet they continued to let him fly, which only made things worse. Qantas is considering an appeal.

...Oh, COME ON! Now, not only do we have to worry about terrorists blowing up planes, or DRUNK pilots trying to land them through an alcoholic haze, we've got to worry about MENTALLY ILL pilots feeling compelled to CRASH THEM!?! Forget it... I'm never flying again... and I DID warn you!!

No Further Comment Needed...

Meet 24-year-old Danielle Vincely of Portsmouth, England. According to the always-reliable British rag "News of the World", Danielle has an unusual phobia that prevents her from ever having sex INDOORS. Danielle says, quote, "Guys love it at first. They think it's kinky making love under the stars in the woods, on beaches, park benches and car bonnets. But after a while they get annoyed, especially if it's raining, and dump me.

"Men like a quick romp inside on the bed, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's not like I haven't tried. I just can't do it indoors without freaking out. I feel like I'm being choked and about to pass out. I know people think I'm weird, but I've given up caring. Some people are scared of spiders, others of heights; well, this is my phobia and I'm learning to deal with it the best I can."

For the record, doctors say Danielle's phobia could probably be controlled using antidepressants. But she says she'd "...rather keep on having sex outside than become dependent on drugs."

....good choice, Danielle..... good choice....

Cartman was RIGHT!!!

If you aren't a cynical bastard like me, you might think that the people who say they love the planet love other people even more. Otherwise, why would they care about the environment so much? But a new study confirms what I'VE always maintained... that people who CLAIM to be environmentally-friendly are really a bunch of self-serving d-bags (well, okay, maybe that is a BIT harsh...)

Researchers from the University of Toronto set up a series of tests to compare the behavior of environmentally-conscious people against the behavior of people who are less "crunchy." What they found is that people who buy "green" products are more likely to LIE and CHEAT, and are six times more likely to STEAL, than people who are less environmentally conscious. And in general, they're MEANER overall.

According to the researchers, it has to do with something called "moral balancing." The idea is that since "green" consumers have done so much to help the planet, they think they've built up so much goodwill that they're ALLOWED to be jerks. Or as the researchers put it, quote, "Virtuous acts can license subsequent asocial and unethical behaviors."

In other words, as Eric Cartman and I would have told you all along: Never trust a tree-hugging hippie!!!!

Your BAD HABITS are EXPENSIVE...

Times are tough right now, and we're all trying to save a few bucks wherever we can. With that in mind, here's a look at some bad habits, and what they cost you over the course of a year:

If you buy a subscription to a gossip magazine like "OK!", "Us Weekly" or "Life & Style", it'll cost you $78 a year. And if you get it off the newsstand each week, it'll cost you $182 a year.

If you have an unlimited texting plan, it'll cost you $240 a year.

If you have just one 16-ounce soda a day, it'll cost you $547.50 a year.

If you buy one regular or iced coffee every day at Starbucks, it'll cost you $912.50 a year. And if you have a cappuccino instead, it'll cost you $1,442 a year.

And if you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, it'll cost you $1,825 a year.


....but SEX is FREE!!!!! (...well, at least the LEGAL kind is...)

CRAPPY St. Paddy's Day!!

Three days before Christmas, a man in a Santa suit robbed a bank in Nashville. The FBI was investigating the case, but it was still unsolved . . . until Wednesday.

That's because on St. Patrick's Day, the same guy did the exact same thing. Except this time, he was dressed as . . . you guessed it . . . a LEPRECHAUN.

According to police, 20-year-old David Cotton is the man responsible for both robberies. Both he and his getaway driver . . . a 20-year-old college student named Jonathan Skinner . . . were KILLED in a shootout with police while leaving the bank. Officials say there are two pieces of evidence linking David to the Christmas robbery:

#1.) When they searched his house, they found a Santa costume.
#2.) And David made similar comments to the tellers during each of the robberies.

Well, I guess they can officially close the book on the Christmastime robbery. I mean, there can't be more than two or three people in the ENTIRE WORLD that actually own a Santa suit? And how many bank robbers really say things like, "Hand over the money"? Hardly any, I'm sure...

Yet ANOTHER reason I LOVE CANADA!!!

The next time you're at your wit's end over a seven hour wait in the Emergency Room, just be glad you don't live in India. Here's why . . .

Last November, 54-year-old Gouri Chakraborty was admitted to the hospital in Kolkata, India. Gouri had high blood pressure, was diabetic, and she'd been experiencing complications from a recent cataract surgery. Then she slipped into a COMA.

Monday, Gouri's family showed up at the hospital for a visit. But when they got there, they found ANTS crawling on her face. And it wasn't just a few ants . . . it was enough to have completely DEVOURED her left eye!!

According to an official hospital report, quote, "The woman had lost one of her eyes to ants . . . She was already on her death bed, and this added to her problems." (now THERE'S a classic understatement!!) Hospital officials told Gouri's family they were sorry for what happened. But they also pointed out it's not that uncommon for ants to feed on diabetics, because they have such high levels of blood sugar. I'm sure that made them feel SOO much better!! The incident is now being investigated.

So next time you're in the hospital, instead of selfishly bitching about the wait, perhaps we should all thank the nurses and doctors for the great job that they do, given the situation they're put in!

A Green Top 5...

TOP SIGNS FIVE YOU'RE WAY TOO INTO ST. PATRICK'S DAY...

#5 - You like using classic Irish phrases, like "Erin Go Bragh," "Top O' the Mornin'" and "I'm drunk as %$#@!"

#4 - You pinch people who aren't wearing green. Or who are wearing green. Okay, you're a pervert.

#3 - You're holding Ronald McDonald hostage until he puts Shamrock Shakes back on the menu.

#2 - You started drinking early . . . on February 1st.

...and the NUMBER ONE sign you're WAYYY too into St. Patrick's Day... You're constantly being slapped for showing women your "shillelagh."

Got Wood(s)...?

Are you a skanky cocktail waitress or struggling actress who missed her chance at hooking up with TIGER WOODS??? Well, now you can at least get cozy with the Tiger Woods BLOW-UP DOLL. Check out the blow-up doll, plus other Tiger Woods novelty products, by clicking on the picture below... (WARNING, YOUNG JEDI'S... this link contains NAUGHTY PRODUCTS... proceed at your own discretion!!)

...the BEST part about the Tiger Blow-Up Doll... it won't badger you afterward to take its name off your blow-up cell phone!!!

The "Sex Map Of The World"...

You gotta love British tabloids. When they can't think of stuff to make up, at least they run interesting stories. Yesterday "The Sun" had their "Sex Map Of The World," a bunch of random facts based on a dozen different surveys, all to figure out which country has the best sex. Not exactly breaking news, but it's Friday, and you know you want to see it. Here's a sampling of info...

--The country with the most bisexual women is . . . Sweden.

--The 'horniest' country in the world is . . . Greece.

--With an average of 29.3 sex partners, the country with the most promiscuous men is . . . Austria.

--And with an average of 20.4 sex partners, the country with the most promiscuous women is . . . New Zealand.

--The world's best lovers are from . . . Spain.

--And the world's worst lovers are from . . . Germany.

--At an average of just ten minutes, the country where sex lasts the shortest is . . . Thailand.

--And at an average of 30 minutes, the country where sex lasts the longest is . . . Brazil.

--With more than 40% of the women wearing a bra size-DD or larger, the country where the women have the largest breasts is . . . Australia.

--At 41%, the country where the most people have participated in an orgy is . . . France.

--But the country that holds the record for the world's largest orgy is . . . Japan.

--The world's largest nudist resort is . . . the Village Naturiste in Cap d'Agde in France.

--With an estimated 250 locations, the brothel capital of the world is . . . Tel Aviv, Israel.

--The "kinkiest" place to go on vacation is . . . San Francisco, California, during the Folsom Street Fair.

--And by producing nearly 90% of the world's sex films, the pornography capital of the world is . . . the San Fernando Valley, in Los Angeles.

...now go plan your vacations accordingly...

Now THIS guy is a TRUE hero!!

I don't have any combat experience, and I have no desire to gain any. I give HUUUUUGE props to the guys that DO serve their country... and none bigger than THIS guy....
THIS is Rifleman James McKie, a British soldier serving in Afghanistan. This picture was taken immediately after a recent battle. You can see he has a few cuts on his face.... when you find out WHY, you'll know why if I was in a battle, I'd want THIS guy fighting alongside me!

James and his British compatriots were in a battle with Taliban fighters. James was positioned on top of a building near his platoon commander, when a LIVE GRENADE flew through the air, hit his platoon commander, and landed at his feet. The building was too high for them to jump off of. And even if they had, there's no way they could have alerted their fellow soldiers...

...so James PICKED UP the grenade and threw it back at the enemy!!!

A split-second after the grenade left James' hand, it exploded in mid-air. Fragments of the grenade sprayed James' face and arm, hence the cuts, and the platoon commander suffered leg injuries, but he was evacuated and is recovering.

James says,"I remember thinking that if I didn't pull this off, it was going to hurt. But at that stage I was pretty much committed . . . My platoon has taken a lot of casualties. I really didn't want to see anyone else get hurt."

....plus he's kinda cute, ladies.... (no word on whether or not James is attached!)

For more details on the story, and video of James explaining the battle, click HERE

Career Opportunities...(?!)

The education system in the United States of America certainly does NOT hold the exclusive license on lunacy... but were it an Olympic sport, they would be the odds-on favourite to take gold year-in and year-out. The Huffington Post recently put together a list of the ten most ridiculous college courses you can actually take at schools around the U-S. Check it out:

--At Santa Clara University, you can take a class called The Joy of Garbage, where you explore "the technical aspects of decomposition and waste processes."

--At Cornell University, you can take a class called Tree Climbing.

--At Georgetown University, you can take a class called Philosophy and "Star Trek".

--At UCLA, you can take a class called Queer Musicology, which explores pressing issues like "the possibility that being gay makes music by gay composers sound different to you than it would if you were straight."

--At Pitzer College in California, you can take a class called Learning from YouTube, which . . . shocker . . . consists of "students watching, discussing, and commenting on YouTube videos."

--At Stanford University, you can take a class called iPhone Application Programming. (--Actually, if you FOOLISHLY went to college to get a decent job afterwards, this class might not be such a lame idea.)

--At Alfred University in New York, you can take a class called Maple Syrup; The Real Thing.

--At Frostburg State University in Maryland, you can take a class called The Science of "Harry Potter".

--At Centre College in Kentucky, you can take a class called The Art of Walking.

--And at Reed College in Oregon, you can take a class called Underwater Basket Weaving... no... really...

Pick your major...OR you can just come right out and SAY "I'm just going to college for the wild frat parties..."

Who's your TRUE HERO?!?! FIND OUT HERE!!!

This is INCREDIBLE... I didn't believe it when I first tried it, but it's AMAZING how ACCURATE this is. I usually don't believe in this kind of stuff, but this was CRAZY!!

The following exercise will reveal the identity of your TRUE HERO... your IDOL, your ROLE MODEL!! It may seem silly, but it's unbelievably accurate... mine was Terry Fox... absolutely dead on for me... and everyone I know who has done this exercise was SHOCKED and AMAZED at the results!! ...and it's SIMPLE....

FIRST, do the simple math below... THEN, scroll down to the post immediately below this one to reveal the identity of your hero. It is truly remarkable just how accurate this is! So here we go...

1) Pick your favorite number between 1 and 8

2) Multiply your choice by 3

3) Add 3

4) Multiply again by 3

5) You'll get a 2 digit number......maybe 42, for example

6) Add the digits together. Example 4 and 2 = 6

NOW, scroll down to the post immediately below to see who your idol is...

...and nowwwwwww.....

...with the number you got in the post immediately above, see the identity of your ROLE MODEL from the list below:

1. Albert Einstein

2. Oprah Winfrey

3. Mother Theresa

4. Terry Fox

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Eleanor Roosevelt

8. Babe Ruth

9. Stack in the Morning

10.Winston Churchill

11.Barbara Walters

12.Dalai Lama


...REALLY?!?!?! WOW, Thank you... I'm just glad I can make a difference, you know...

(Bet YOU, TOO, are "SHOCKED and AMAZED"... incidently, if you're wondering how I got Terry Fox... well, THAT my friend, is how BADLY my math sucks!!)

MOST EXCELLENT NEWS!!! ROCK ON!!!

"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" came out in 1989. The sequel, "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey", followed in 1991. At the Oscars on Sunday night, MTV News asked KEANU REEVES about a "Bill & Ted" sequel . . . and Keanu replied that he's TRYING to get one off the ground. And he claimed that he was NOT kidding. Here's video of this potentially earth-shattering moment...

The PROBLEM with POLLS...

People LIE... LIKE RUGS.... THAT is the problem with polls! I've tried to teach my kids NOT to believe everything they see or hear, just because they see or hear it in "the media." Skillful pollsters can get whatever result they WANT just by manipulating the wording of the question! In addition, it's been proven time and time again that no matter HOW "anonymous" these polls might be, people will lie their faces off to make themselves look good... case in point...

Recently, an adult website called AdamAndEve.com asked 1,000 North Americans how long their AVERAGE lovemaking session lasts. According to the survey, 12.8% of Americans say their average session lasts ten minutes or less... 26.8% say it usually lasts 20 minutes... 31.2% say it usually lasts 30 minutes... 16.7% say it usually lasts 45 minutes... And 12.5% say it usually last an hour or longer.

In other words, if we're to believe the results of this survey, more than THREE in FIVE North Americans regularly have sex for 30 minutes or longer. And nearly ONE in THREE usually goes for 45 minutes or longer.

...Maybe they're averaging it out and including dinner AND the movie...

In Today's Boobie News...

And NOW.... three stories about Mammalian Protuberances...

#1
Bargain shopping is a great way to save money. But it's not the best thing to do when you're looking for a doctor to perform SURGERY on your mommy. Unfortunately, 46-year-old Maria Alaimo of Staten Island, New York, learned that one the hard way. In 2003, Maria decided she was going to get a BOOB JOB. So she went online, and finally settled on a plastic surgeon with reasonable rates named Dr. Keith Berman. But Dr. Berman botched Maria's procedure, leaving her with excessive scarring, as well as two softball-sized lumps on top of her lady lumps. Or as Maria refers to them, quote, "double-bubble deformities" that make it look like she has four fun-bags instead of two. Anyway, Maria was distraught, and her deformed breasts killed her self-esteem. Things got so bad that she even stopped letting her husband Dominic see her naked, which caused a bunch of intimacy issues and eventually led to their divorce. Now Maria's suing Dr. Berman for $5 MILLION for her pain, suffering and . . . well . . . for basically destroying her life. Maria says her breasts were, quote, "grossly misshapen . . . my nipples were up to my chin . . . I was deformed." The case is ongoing.


#2
Daniel Angerer is the chef at a restaurant in New York City called Klee Brasserie.
A few months ago, his wife Lori gave birth to their daughter. And like any real man would, Daniel decided to seize the opportunity by making CHEESE out of his wife's BREAST MILK. You probably didn't even know you COULD make cheese out of human breast milk. Or that anyone would ever want to. But it turns out you can, and Daniel did. He says, quote, "After two weeks aging, it was somewhat like a raw-milk cheese; it had all the flavors in there. It tastes just like really sweet cow's milk. "Being a chef, you're curious about anything in terms of flavor; you look out for something new and what you can do with it. "It wasn't like, 'Hey, this is such an amazing cheese.' It's just like, 'Can you use human milk? Yes, you absolutely can!'" In case you're wondering, Daniel's NOT serving the breast-milk cheese at Klee because he doesn't think the FDA would be cool with it.... Good call, Daniel.

#3
Ladies . . . this is just a heads-up to let you know that according to the law, your BREASTS are considered a deadly weapon. At least that's what I take from this story. Last Thursday, 31-year-old Toni Tramel was arrested for public intoxication in Owensboro, Kentucky. It was a misdemeanor charge, and Toni probably would have gotten off with just a small fine. But while she was changing into an inmate uniform at the jail, Toni squirted the guard in the face with her BREAST MILK. Under the letter of the law, breast milk is treated just like any other bodily fluid. And Toni was slapped with a third-degree felony assault charge as a result. Now she's being held on $10,000 bond, and if she's convicted she could get up to five years in prison. All because she got wasted and squirted a cop in the face with her breast milk.

More B-Movie Awesomeness!!

Anyone who knows me knows my enthusiasm for movies that are sooooo BAD they are AWESOME!! Such was the case with "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus", the instant B-movie CLASSIC starring Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas (how can you go WRONG!!) This Epic piece of cinematic genius featured the Mega Shark biting the Golden Gate bridge in half (right) and plucking a cruising jetliner out of the air at 30,000 feet!! Well, we coul be in for another duesy along the same lines...

LEGENDARY B-movie producer/director ROGER CORMAN is shedding a little more light on his upcoming made-for-the-SyFy-network masterpiece, "SHARKTOPUS".

Perhaps the most important info he parted with was this: Sharktopus will have TWO MOUTHS!!! Corman explains, "It has the shark's mouth at the front. An octopus, we did a little research on this, has of course the long tentacles. The tentacles grabs whatever it's after. It has a beak-like mouth, the tentacles bring the small creature, or in this case a large creature, to the beak like mouth, and it feeds itself that way."

Want to know more about Sharktopus??? OF COURSE YOU DO!!! He's actually created by the Navy to take on Somali pirates. He has implants in his brain so that he can be controlled . . . but obviously, something goes awry. Sharktopus is 40 feet long. His body is 10 to 12 feet, and his tentacles are 30 (I was kinda hoping for something a little bigger, frankly... something like is pictured left!)

By the way, before "Sharktopus" comes along, Corman has another masterpiece in the pipeline, called "Dinoshark". That one airs on SyFy next Saturday. What's next...?... OctoSaur?... Sharkasaurus Pus?

A Thank You Note...

Just in case you thought ALL Americans were arrogant xenophobic morons, I thought I'd pass along this note left behind for us after the Olympics by a noted news anchor...

"After tonight's broadcast and after looting our hotel mini-bars, we're going to try to brave the blizzard and fly east to home and hearth, and to do laundry well into next week. Before we leave this thoroughly polite country, the polite thing to do is leave behind a thank-you note.

Thank you, Canada:

For being such good hosts.

For your unfailing courtesy.

For your (mostly) beautiful weather.

For scheduling no more than 60 percent of your float plane departures at the exact moment when I was trying to say something on television.

For not seeming to mind the occasional (or constant) good-natured mimicry of your accents.

For your unique TV commercials -- for companies like Tim Hortons -- which made us laugh and cry.

For securing this massive event without choking security, and without publicly displaying a single automatic weapon.

For having the best garment design and logo-wear of the games -- you've made wearing your name a cool thing to do.

For the sportsmanship we saw most of your athletes display.

For not honking your horns. I didn't hear one car horn in 15 days -- which also means none of my fellow New Yorkers rented cars while visiting.

For making us aware of how many of you have been watching NBC all these years.

For having the good taste to have an anchorman named Brian Williams on your CTV network, who turns out to be such a nice guy.

For the body scans at the airport which make pat-downs and cavity searches unnecessary.

For designing those really cool LED Olympic rings in the harbor, which turned to gold when your athletes won one.

For always saying nice things about the United States...when you know we're listening.

For sharing Joannie Rochette with us.

For reminding some of us we used to be a more civil society.

Mostly, for welcoming the world with such ease and making lasting friends with all of us.

-Brian Williams, anchor and managing editor, NBC Nightly News"

...a class act... although I'm sure Conan O'Brian would argue his network execs don't share that trait...

Cos' John would have SOOO been down with this...

John Lennon's son Sean has said his mother Yoko Ono allowed video footage of the former Beatle to be used in a Citroen ad to "keep him in the public consciousness". Responding to criticism about the car ad on his Twitter page, Sean Ono Lennon denied that his mother allowed Lennon to appear in the campaign for money reasons, instead stating that it was an attempt to keep him in the public eye... because CLEARLY we need a car TV ad to remember one of the most famous rock stars in history... Here it is...

Best Music Video in YEARS...

OK GO is the same band that several years back did a video for their song "Here it Goes Again" with an incredible treadmill dance... they're back at it with an unbelievable Rube Goldberg machine that took them MONTHS to set up right, and DOZENS of takes to get perfect... this is ALL REAL TIME with no camera tricks whatsoever...

I wonder if this is his Mother-in Law...?

Don't get me wrong... I do NOT condone scaring the crap out of old ladies... but you have to admit, this IS kinda funny...

Old Lady Terrified by Race Car Ride - Watch more Funny Videos

Have your PARTNER read this...

I always try to pass along any information I feel might be useful, and given that most of us feel a little shy expressing ourselves about sex, even to our partners, I thought this might be helpful...

We all know men and women aren't always on the same page sexually. But according to the March issue of "Men's Health", there are a few things we can agree on. The survey asked nearly 5,000 men and women to rank a bunch of sexual activities and say which ones they were most interested in, and least interested in. Here's what they found:

--The five things guys are most interested in doing with their partner are:

#1.) Having sex in public
#2.) Getting a striptease or lap dance
#3.) Watching pornography
#4.) Handcuffing their partner
#5.) A threesome with two GIRLS

--And the five things women are most interested in are:

#1.) Using sex toys
#2.) Being handcuffed
#3.) Having sex in public
#4.) Giving a striptease or lap dance
#5.) Watching pornography together

--The five things men are least interested in are:

#1.) A threesome with two GUYS
#2.) S & M
#3.) Trading dirty pictures
#4.) Spanking
#5.) Role-playing

--And the five things women are least interested in are:

#1.) S & M
#2.) A threesome with two GUYS
#3.) A threesome with two GIRLS
#4.) ummm... how do I put this delicately?... "alternate" entries...
#5.) Trading dirty pictures

--In other words, NEITHER of you want to use leather & whips and stuff, take dirty photos, or bring another dude into the bedroom. But BOTH of you want to do the nasty in public, have her strip and give you a 'lapper', handcuff her and watch dirty movies together... in my book, that is some SERIOUS common ground...

INFORMATION IS POWER, people!!

Banned Pamela Anderson Commercial

I always think of the Aussies as pretty "out-there", so I would think it would take QUITE A LOT to have something BANNED from Australian T-V... let's find out...

No More Tear-gas...?

Here's a great story of an Ozzy book signing gone horribly wrong, compliments of our friends at Billboard/fuse's "Daily Noise"...

Do we "Own" The Podium...?

A LOT of Canadians seemed to have a problem with the whole "Own The Podium" slogan, which is not terribly surprising given our humble nature. What IS surprising, and a little funny, is the problem the Americans seemed to have with it.

Not only did Canada have our best-ever finish at the Olympic Winter Games this time around, we set a record for Winter Olympic Gold Medals... no country, whether hosting or not, has EVER won 14 Gold medals in one Winter Games. We finished third in total medal tally with 14 gold, 7 silver and 5 bronze for a total of 26. Germany was second with 10, 13 and 7 for a total of 30 medals, and the U-S ended up with 37 total medals (9 gold, 15 silver, 13 bronze)

I always thought the way they did the medal tally was a bit weird, with a bronze or silver worth as much as a gold. Theoretically, if we had 38 bronze medals and the Americans had 37 gold, we would "win" the Olympics... and you can be GUARANTEED that if that ever happened, the U-S would be screaming BLOODY MURDER to have changes made to the way things are counted, with gold medals worth more than silver, and silver more than bronze.

Which is why I find it mildly amusing that the Americans are going out of their way to point out to us that the number of gold medals we won doesn't matter because they "won" the Olympics,, and consequently pointing out that they "Own the Podium", not us.

If you will allow me to be slightly "un-Canadian" in my fierce patriotism and lack of humility for a moment, I would like to answer these comments by the Americans....

Dear United States of America...

Get over it! Whether or not we "owned" the podium, we "owned" you in hockey (men's AND women's)... we "owned" you in speed-skating... we "owned" you BIG TIME in women's bobsled... we also "owned" you in Figure Skating, Freestyle Skiing, Snowboard Racing... and, with your best total of 10 Gold in 2002 and our RECORD-BREAKING 14 this year, we may not "own" the WHOLE podium, but we SURE AS HELL OWN THE TOP OF IT!!!

Yours Truly North and Strongly Free,
A Proud Canadian